The Alex Community Health Centre (The Alex) brings health, housing, and social services together under one roof to provide integrated, wrap-around care to support vulnerable Calgarians facing barriers. Through a collaborative team of medical, mental health, and social service professionals, The Alex cares for the whole person, addressing everything from physical and mental health to housing, food security, addiction, youth and family supports, aging, and community connection. That same philosophy guides its Youth Health Clinic, where young people aged 12 to 24 and their families can access trusted, compassionate care for challenges ranging from anxiety and depression to trauma, disordered eating, and addiction.
When a young person shares that they are exploring their gender identity or sexual orientation, families often ask: Am I doing this right? The reassuring truth is that supporting a 2SLGBTQIA+ young person does not require perfect understanding. As Jace Laing-Schroeder, a Mental Health Clinician at The Alex Community Health Centre, puts it, “2SLGBTQIA+ youth don’t need perfect adults, they need adults who are present, curious, and willing to keep showing up.”
The idea takes enormous pressure off caregivers who worry they will say the wrong thing. What young people need most is patience and acceptance. Allison Thornton, Professional Practice Lead at The Alex, recalls a father who, when his child came out, asked himself a single question. “Now that he knows the information, does his level of love for his child change from what it was two weeks ago?” He resolved that it did not.
That steadiness matters. 2SLGBTQIA+ youth experience higher rates of anxiety, depression, and suicidal thoughts than their peers, but these outcomes are linked to stigma, rejection, and bullying, not to the identities themselves. Laing-Schroeder emphasizes that the strongest protective factors for a young person are a sense of community and acceptance, an adult who supports a young person’s gender expression, and access to responsive and affirming health services. Even one steady, accepting adult can dramatically lower a young person’s risk.
So, what does that support look like day to day? A genuinely supportive home is warm, open, and engaged. Laing-Schroeder puts practice ahead of perfection: respect a young person’s pronouns, and when you slip, name it simply, acknowledge the mistake, affirm that you think of them as who they are, and move on. They also encourage parents to lead with a sense of discovery and ask a young person to explain how they experience their gender and what it means to them. Thornton agrees this can take humility, adding candidly, “I’m old and sometimes have to get a generation Z or alpha translation.” Parents can simply ask: How would you like me to support you?
When a young person first comes out, Laing-Schroeder says the most helpful early responses are caring and low-pressure. They offer a simple script: “Thank you for telling me. What does being this identity mean to you? How can I support you? I love you, you’re my kid, and that will never change.” Just as important, they note, is keeping the focus on the young person rather than the adult’s own adjustment. From there, small everyday gestures build safety: with a young person’s permission, let extended family know their pronouns before a visit; learn about the issues 2SLGBTQIA+ youth face today; and visibly show support, whether watching queer media together, displaying a flag, attending Pride, or helping them find a local youth group.
It helps to know the common pitfalls. One misconception Thornton hears often is that a young person’s identity is “just a phase.” Other responses feel supportive but can sting. Adjusting to a new name can be genuinely hard, since parents often chose the original with love; many find it helps to hold on to the truth that the core of the child they love has not changed. Correcting a young person’s hair or makeup can read as rejection, too. As she puts it, “Hair grows back, and makeup washes off, it isn’t permanent. Don’t we all look at some hairstyles in high school pictures and go, yikes, what were we thinking?” The key, she adds, is to let young people have their expression while still ensuring access to appropriate sex education.
Staying supportive while still learning is possible, Laing-Schroeder says: do your own learning on your own time, ask questions with permission, and when mistakes happen, apologize sincerely and briefly rather than dwelling on how hard their identity has been for you. They also urge parents to be aware of a young person’s intersecting identities, noting that Two-Spirit, Black, and disabled queer youth often navigate a different lived experience, and to connect them with people who share those identities. Looking after your own wellbeing matters too, which can be done through a counsellor or a parent support group, so that this weight never falls on your child.
Educators, coaches, and other trusted adults matter enormously, Thornton says. Young people need adults in their corner who hold an affirming space and offer reasonable accommodations. Because 2SLGBTQIA+ youth face higher risks of bullying, isolation, and exploitation, she says these adults are well placed to watch for warning signs like withdrawal, anxiety, or giving up activities the young person once loved. So, if something feels off, it is worth a compassionate check-in.
If a parent takes away one thing, Thornton hopes it is this: “Grace for yourself, lead with kindness.” The message a young person needs to hear is simple and steady: thank you for telling me. I love you. That will never change. Families do not have to understand everything to offer that, they only have to keep showing up.
Where to Turn: Resources for Families in Calgary
You don’t have to navigate this alone. These local organizations offer support for young people and the adults who love them.
The Alex Community Health Centre — Home to the clinicians featured in this article, The Alex provides extensive support for 2SLGBTQIA+ youth, young adults, and their families.
Skipping Stone Foundation — Direct support, programming, and resources for trans and gender-diverse youth, adults, and their families, including groups for parents.
Calgary Outlink — Peer support, youth programming, and a range of community resources for 2SLGBTQIA+ people of all ages.
Rainbow Elders — Community and connection with 2SLGBTQIA+ older adults, offering intergenerational support and mentorship.
Community Connect YYC & 211 — Navigation and referral to counselling and mental health services for youth and caregivers alike.
